Prayer (pt. 1)...

[Still looking for my face..]

Jewish History:
Ten Commandments are given to the people and then put into a box called The Arc of the Covenant. The Arc is placed in a temple, in like the inner, INNER section of the temple. Now, ONLY ONCE A YEAR, there was only ONE person that was allowed to enter the inner section of the temple, the "Holy of Holies", the High Priest. He sprinkled the blood of a goat or calve onto the arc as a blood sacrifice for the whole nation's sins. This inner section was SO holy that it is said that the high priest had to tie a rope around his ankle, so that if he were to get struck dead by God, his dead body could be pulled from inside the room. THIS CEREMONY IS VITAL!!!! So, Jesus shows up, and he is referred to as a Prophet, a King, and a High Priest.

Hebrews 9:11-15
11When Christ came as high priest of the good things that are already here, he went through the greater and more perfect tabernacle that is not man-made, that is to say, not a part of this creation. 12He did not enter by means of the blood of goats and calves; but he entered the Most Holy Place once for all by his own blood, having obtained eternal redemption. 13The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean. 14How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!

15For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.

Jesus' blood nows has SUCH AN IMPORTANCE. He enters by his own blood, and becomes our mediator to God, AND NOT JUST ONCE A YEAR!!!! BUT DAILY, MINUTELY, SECONDLY, we can converse with God through prayer.

Now that we have an eternal connection with God, prayer falls under a new light. Now, it goes from being "I should pray" or "I need to pray", to "I get to pray".

My way to God can be daily, minutely, secondly thing. Will this change my perspective?

Reset...

"God, I have gone too long without you. I have forgotten your touch, your embrace, your breath. And I've grown comfortable with being uncomfortably distant from you. It's all I've know for the last three months. So here i am, crawling away form you because I dont want to accept my failures, to embrace the pain, to dive into the tension. But I hear you... thundering behind me. As I crawl, I hear the trees falling, the world withering, the earth shaking in you passionate pursuit for me, broken me. Tonight, you have arrived behind me. I can feel your presence; your breath is heavy on my neck. Tonight, we meet here. Tonight, I am reminded, in your arms, that I am loved by the star-breather. Make me who you want me to be..."

this is my story. moving right along...

This is me...

"Our excuses will define us if we let them." -The Bearded Wonder [Freddy Williams]
Excuses cause paralysis. They choke us and hinder us from burning and becoming who God wants us to be. Excuses = FEARS, FAILURES, BUSY, BOREDOM
(a few of mine..)
FEARS:
-being alone/avoided -uncertainty
-failure - letting go of control
FAILURES:
-consistency -loving
-fooling everyone -authenticity
BUSY:
-school -satisfying everyone
-volleyball -maintaining relationships
BORED:
-with every day that I wake up and wait for something to be handed to me (a nugget of life)

This is me:
I am broken and desperate for someone to put the pieces back together
And for too long, I have tried to put them back together by myself/under my own will.
This is my circumference, my edges, where life is LIVED (although, not necessarily where life is FROM).

Luke 15- The Parable of the Lost Sheep
And despite the fact that I am lost, Jesus LEAVES the flock of sheep, in DESPERATE search, PASSIONATE pursuit to find me. And when he does, HE CELEBRATES W/ EVERYONE!

That is the Gospel. That is the essence/substance in which my identity can be found

So, according to you and the world, who are you?
=> A broken, worthless, lost, fake, misguided sheep
According to Jesus, who are you?
=> A broken, worthless, lost, fake, misguided sheep WHO IS WORTH BEING PASSIONATELY PURSUED FOR...

That is a picture of love. Essence, soul, substance.
That is where Jesus resides, calling for you to join him.

Time to start digging...

Foundation...

Lately, things have been... dry. I find myself wandering down paths that i know will waste my time, and clinging to the things that i think i need/ things that i think will help to refresh me. But, nothing seems to be real or fufilling. And then, i step back and survey, and i cant help but to wonder... "what has happened?"

I mean i was there...
I was in the prescence of God, in His arms...
It was all so real. It was all so satisfying.

"what has happened?"

But, God has begun to take me back to those moment and exposing a trend in every one of them...

every inch of that moment was derived from the very person of Jesus and the very breath of God

At no point was i distracted by the things such as appearance, atmosphere, timing, effectiveness; anything physical thing that created a barrier between me and God because i was not concerned with what you thought of me, nor the lights, nor the creative elements.
It was me and God.

It was me, in my brokeness, hand in hand with Jesus, reaching with hands of need, praying prayers that refused to be unheard.

When everything was stripped away, nothing was left but me and Jesus.

What got me to that point?
Better yet, what DISCONTINUED me from being there?

Jesus is my foundation. I have piled so many things on top of me that i continuously focus on what i can do to relieve some weight, and i have forgotten that he is the reason that i wake in the morning and lift my hands to worship my father, despite what may come my way.

Take me back. Just me and you. So that the only place left for me to find myself is in you...

Future Glory, The Dream...

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!" Romans 8:15-17 (The Message)

we confrim who we are through who God is, our Father, our Daddy...
we accept the calling, a life of love and serving...
we share the life of Jesus, INTAMCY!!!!!
(it gets better!!!!)

"That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens." Romans 8:18-21 (The Message)

in the midst of experiencing life through confirming, accepting, and sharing...
we anticipate what God will do next, grander and more magnifficent than ever before...
we dream of the day that we are fully alive through Christ...

This is the dream...
This is the coming reality...
Are you ready for what God will do...
Are you ready to swim in the deep of God's dream...

"Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens"...

Weiss

A Link in the Chain...

We werent created to journey alone.

If God has given us a mandate to carry on what he has started, then we must carry the torch together.

If we are unified through Christ, then why dont we live life together?
We dont live life in the trenches with each other.

And it worries me...

If we cant experience God together at an intamate level outside of where we meet ("the Church"), then how will we ever learn how to love each other like God has called us to do?

we wont know each other, and we will push each other away, afraid of actually allowing ourselves to be known by the other.

we lose sight of God, because we are to busy trying to tackle life by ourselves, by our own strength.

you are a link in God's chain...
you need us, and we need you...

I need you.

God allows us to be a part of what he is doing.

It's on us...

Weiss

Wondering...

i find myself looking over my shoulder, wondering what the kid behind me thinks about me praying by myself...

i find myself looking over my shoulder, wondering if the person behind me knows that i thrive on God's love...

i find myself wondering...

when did i let the standards, opinions, and accusations of others get in the way of knowing my Father?

Knowing Him is eternal life...

so...

When will the kid behind me wonder why im praying outside by myself?
When will the kid behind me thrive on my love because of the love i thrive on from God?

When i know my Father, intamately, passionately, the opinions/standards of others will be shaped by the love that God can give them.

May we know Him...

create a community
create a culture

I wonder what it will be like when the heart of my Father will beat in me...

Weiss

Through innocent eyes....

I feel a disappointment...
I feel like i miss it because i cant be a part of something big...
Something that i feel must be important...

And because of my consatant pursuit to experience the "big" things, i miss the small things, the things that actually make up and shape the experiences that i accumulate.

I miss the "miniscule" things that prepare me to accept the invitation to be apart of the bigger picture that god has planned for me.

it's through the small things that i can paint the bigger picture.

the bigger picture is love...
and through the smile, the laugh, the conversation, i experience love.

Why is it that the simplest things excite children?
What do they see that we dont?
What do they feel that we cant seem to grasp?

and throught innocent eyes, they get it...

Weiss

School...

This summer...

experienced growth

experienced intamcy

experienced love

experienced life

It happened, did you miss it?


Now...

Who will you become this school year?

Who needs you to become?


Will you be the revolution...


Dream.

Weiss

Dropping the Agenda...

When was the last time you hit the wall? I mean hard?

When was the last time that you hit the wall and remained consistent with your life?
aka
Were you you?
Despite the pain, the failure, the letdown... did you remain true to yourself?
Were you you?

Its in the middle of our pain that we find ourselves...

Because its when you can live life consistently in the midst of pain and loss that God's glimpse of life can be discovered.

Q: What is it going to take to remain consistent?

Consistancy wins. Its what living the life God has called you to live reflects and looks like. Of course we fail, we stumble, we forget...
But its when we turn to our Father and trust that He will pick us up and realize that He is enough... thats when the Gospel is lived.

Its when we relaize that Jesus is the connection between what we feel and what we do that consistancy is established.

When will you drop your agenda to serve God?

When will you love like God loves?

When will you live the dangerous life?

The exotic life of someone different?

The authentic life of intamacy?

Tommorow...anticipate the love God has in store for you.

What will you do with the pain?

Will you be you?

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him, even in the midst of loss" -John Piper

Weiss

Remembering...

When you have experienced something life changing, why is it so easy to forget what life was like in that moment, instance, experience? Why is it so hard to be consistent with what has changed? Why cant we just remember...

It seems as though many of the people that came bcak from Mexico, myself included, are struggling to answer the question "What is it going to take to live life here in Missouri like we did in Mexico?"
If Mexico is truly an extension of life, then we know that the love we shared and experienced down there was something real and relevant in our lives here...
If Mexico is truly an extension of life, the community shaped and supported there is reflection of growth of the community we have here...

Through converstions, through experiences, we CAN live the life we lived in Mexico.
Dont forget what God did to me, to you , to us in Mexico.
Be aware of opportunities to live the life.

At the end of the day, God is God. God will allow us to find the life we found in Mexico in him here.

God will do wonders...the question is, will we miss the experience that he has invited us to be a part of.

It's happening. Dont miss it.

Weiss

Anticipation...

Tomorrow i leave on a 26-hour bus ride to place ive never been, with the sole purpose of loving, serving, and glorifying God.

My prayer is that i dont miss what this extension of life is going to be. I pray that i go in anticipation of what God will do next, not journey with my head down.

To me, anticipation is a good measuring stick of where your relationship with God is...

Will i GO knowing who He is and what He can do and what even more abundant things He will do?
or...
Will i go with lack of intamcy and experiences with God, hoping that maybe He might just fill me with the ever-fading "warm-and-fuzzies"?

He will do amazing things, but will i anticipate something more than i have ever experienced?

Weiss

Worship...

Worship has become a warped form of something that is the complete opposite of what was originally intended...
...it's own "style" in Chiristian music
...an emotional experience that is memorable
...and if we're not careful, an ego trip

But i ask myself, How did Jesus worship? He didnt have music, and he definately didnt do it for the ego trip.

So, what was worship for Jesus? ... Surrender.
He was surrendered completely to the will of His Father. And it was worship in the purest form.
"At the cross You beckon me
Draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love
Im sweetly broken, wholly surrendered"
- Jeremy Riddle "Sweetly Broken"

Wholly surrendered, in our brokeness, worshiping God in spirit and in truth.
Worship= SURRENDER

We will never understand true, intamate worship unitl we look through the eyes of a surrendered child.
I want to experinece this...

Weiss

In Gods Hands...

Its in His hands now...

I have always had trust problems with God. I was afraid that if he was in control, things wouldnt come out the way i wanted them to.

But, when i was at the end of my rope, when i couldnt take it anymore, He was the only one holding on to me. And i didnt even trust Him then.

But i guess i never really had a desire to trust Him. I didnt want to trust someone I didnt even know. Intamtely.

But, now I know of the wonderous Father thats desires me and my struggles, and the miracles he does with failures. Why wouldnt i want to trust Him?

Its in His hands now, and i finally feel free.

Weiss

When...

When...
When will i know...
When will you tell me...
When will i go to sleep not wondering wheter or nor you thought of me today...
When will you relize that i think of you every day...
When will this end...
When will we be back to the way things used to be...
When will i stop centering my life around something thats not even there...
When can i stop...
When?

Focus...

Its been a touchy subject for me lately.
Struggling with the questions of:
1.)"Should I refocus every day?"-This implies that I lose focus every day and need to redirect it (which is mostly true)
or...
2.)"What can I do to keep my focus on God every day?"- Because I know I want to, I know I can, and I should, but I dont know how.

Help?

Much Love,
Weiss

Love Not Wanted...

Facebook. Amazing. Facebook chat? AMAZINGER!!!!
Its 3:03 in the morning and i just got done having a converstion with a friend that ive never even met.
It went something like this...

He feels extremely sad about his life. He has searched for love in girls and relationships but hasnt quite found the thing that will satisfy his thirst. He wants love, but not from an invisible deity.
But, he is curious about what "your god has to offer."
He is convinced that he doesnt need God's love and can make it on his own.

But, what bothers me is not that he doesnt want God's love, but rather that i havent reflected God's love in such a way that it irresistablly attractive and beautiful.

So, i try to cover up my fake and inauthentic reflection of God by fancying Him up, trying to use words to make him sound satifying.

Why is it i have to resort to words to express my relationship with God instead of living a life that brings glory to God through it's intamcy?

My prayer is that I, we as Christians, shut our mouths and start living the Life that God has called us to live.

Much Love,
Weiss

Exaggeration...

So im sitting at my kitchen table, chowin down on a bowl of Cheerios, reading an article that my friend Bruce James gave me. The article is "Dont Forget The Basics: Remembering God's Goodness When Faith Is Difficult", and I have to say, its pretty stinkin awesome. As im reading through it, its talking about what we have to remind ourselves of everyday in order to keep our faith in check (because we all know that there are an infinite number of distractions just waiting to remove our focus from God), i spotted something that was very freeing...

"Many Spirit-filled authors have exhausted the thesaurus in order to describe God with the glory He deserves. His perfect holiness, by definintion, assures us that our words can't contain Him. Isn't it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?"

Isn't it!? A God that no matter how well we try to dress up and present beautifully to others, exceeds our words ten-fold?

I cannot fathom the glory of God, yet I know Him as though he is my own Father.

Freeing.

Much Love,
Weiss

Starting Over...

My last blog, "Life In His Light", was unhealthy. I used it as a a way of making myself known to others and hopefullly recieve praise through it. I only posted a single post, but it felt...empty. It felt like i wasnt saying those words, but rather a different me... a selfish me.

So, if you are reading, kow this...

Thank you for reading, but do not take this as a way for me to recieve praise from anyone. My blog is strictly a way of sharing my life; what I learn, who i meet, where i go, etc.

My prayer is that this blog helps bring relevance to life.

Much Love,
Weiss